No Totem Animal for Me :(

When I first saw the links to "find your totem animal" I was really excited. I clicked on the first link and read through the questions, but they all seemed too vague for me to answer. I am intrigued by almost all animals, so it was hard for me to answer questions like "what animal are you most interested in seeing?" or "what animal are you drawn to?" For me, the simple, obvious answer would be cats, but I feel like I love cats the most only because I have been around them since a really early age. So, I decided to do a little more work to find my totem animal. I took the 19-question quiz, and it really was a joke. There were only four outcomes, and none of them fit me.

I went back to the first link, and saw the question "which animal is most frightening to you?" As a child, I was terrified of fish (and I still don't like to be near them). I also could never eat any kind of sea food, even though I wasn't a vegetarian. Perhaps there is some link between me and fish that I have never discovered before. According to this website, fish represent knowledge, transformation, good luck, creativity, feminitity, eternity, and fertility. I would consider knowledge, transformation, and good luck pretty accurate, but not the rest. I also decided to try cats again... maybe I shouldn't overlook the cat as possibility as my totem animal. The website says that cats are Astute, Clever, Secretive, Mysterious, Intelligent, Intuitive, Supernatural, Watchful, Selective, and Independent. All of these traits strongly describe me (except for supernatural). So according to this website, the cat would be my totem animal..

But I feel like there are a lot of other qualities that describe me as well. For instance, the gecko would describe someone who is good at "blending in," having a clear perspective, and being a good counselor. I think these traits describe me equally as well as the cat. According to this website, the gopher "shows us how to flow through life in a balanced way by always staying connected to the rhythm of earths heartbeat." Some other animals that I feel describe me very well:
Chipmunk: Do what they want in their own time frame, will not be told what to do, curious, exploring

Opposom: knows how to mold situations to needs, reading between the lines, playing different roles
Cougar: independent, shy, territorial, leadership
Owl: represents private, complex people and don't like others to know what they are really thinking. This can sometimes lead to misunderstandings especially in the area of personal relationships.

I still haven't found a totem animal, but maybe I just need time to think about it. I think one of the most important reasons people want to find a totem animal is so that they can better understand themself, including their weaknesses. Searching for a "totem animal," whether or not I find one, makes me think about these characteristics, and makes me reevaluate the traits that I have that I like and don't like. For instance, I don't really like the "owl" in me: not letting others know what I'm truly thinking. On the other hand, I really like the "gecko" in me, learning from experiences and keeping a clear perspective, and the ability to help others.

On a final note, one of the websites described different types of animal totems. The totems I described above are lifelong totems. The "journey" totem animal would be very easy for me to pick. For the past few years, I have noticed a new affinity for squirrels. Perhaps this is a a reminder that I need to work hard and stay busy for the next few years, and not be lazy at this time in my life.

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